It surprises me that I’m choosing to openly share things such as the following. But I believe that meditation of the mind can be very powerful, and maybe it can be helpful to someone else who is grieving a loss.
I’d like to share a powerful visit I had with Delilah through meditation. I created a “space” in which I can visit her. This space is somewhere between the realms of our existence. Her spirit exists in this space, and she is accessible to me. The following is an account of my visit with her.
The space was white in all directions, with no walls. Slowly, picture frames began forming all around me. The frames held all of the memories of my life thus far. Good memories and bad memories. I had the ability to add and subtract any of them. She is on my mind. The girl I lost in life. I’m not even sure what she looks like so visualizing her is difficult. But I know her Soul. Then, the space begins to shift into a room. It has four walls, a floor, and a ceiling. Furniture begins to fill the room so that it becomes the bedroom of a little girl. A canopy bed, dolls, a table for a tea party.
I know that she is coming. This is her bedroom. A door forms on the far wall, and it bursts open! She comes through, a girl of about five years old. White puffy dress, long auburn hair that ends in curls, her daddy’s blue eyes, and freckles on her nose. She knows who I am and runs towards me. We embrace.
She tells me sweetly,
~I’ve missed you mommy!~
She takes my hand and leads me through another door that brings us outside into a field of rainbow colored snapdragons. They appear to be dancing in the breeze. The sky is blue and it is sunny. We dance through the tall flowers and lay down on the earth. We craft flowers into head crowns and I place one on her head. She is my fairy princess! I see her tiny hands. With them she touches mine. Her voice is sweet and she is so happy.
I ask her a very serious question because I need to know the answer,
~Delilah, why was your heart broken?~
She responds to me,
~Because, God made me special!~
~But why did God make you special?~
She tells me in a very affirming way,
~ Because God wanted us both to grow.~
It’s as easy as that for my daughter. Her soul is so wise.
Time in her realm moves faster than in mine, and we both know that our time for this visit is running out. I don’t want to part.
I say to her,
~Promise me that you’ll come back to us someday.~
She gives me an honest answer,
~I promise that I will try!~
But I don’t like that answer and plead with her,
~Why can’t you promise me that you WILL?~
~If I don’t come back it is because I am staying here to watch over everyone.~
I can accept that. I just don’t want her to disappear forever.
I kneel down and hug my girl. This is not “goodbye”; it is “see you later”. This is our special place. I am free to return any time I’d like and she will be there to meet me.
I have an Angel and her name is Delilah. She has long auburn hair, blue eyes, freckles, and lives amongst the tallest Snapdragons in Heaven.
Link to this guided meditation: